DON'T WORRY

DON'T WORRY

Don't worry, I can read the sign
I know what is in your mind
You need not even say a word or two
Your silence speaks so pure and true

I need not be a sage or a wizard
To feel the beatings of your heart
Hard though you try to conceal it
The change within you just can't shield

I should have seen it coming
The fire in you is slowly ebbing
No longer does love resound
No longer does passion in you abound

What am I to do now, my dear?
I've lived my life with no other
How can I face tomorrow
Without you to help me through

SHOPPING AND REUNION

The lazy-bug has bitten me these past few days. Thus, I have not bothered to update my blog. You may notice that this is my first blog entry after three or four days. It was not like during my initial attempts at blogging that I posted an entry everyday. Now, my blogging has been quite irregular. For this, I beg for your kindest indulgence. I will not make any excuses except to say that given the holiday atmosphere, I guess my bodily system is also going into vacation mode.

About a week or two ago, I lamented about the fact that we still had to do our Christmas shopping. Sadly, only a week to go before December 25, we have yet to draw up our Christmas shopping list. The culprit: albeit it is quite embarrassing to admit, it is the lack of sufficient funds. We are still waiting for additional bonus from the office from where we would source the budget for our Christmas shopping. Well, the good news is that anytime tomorrow and until Wednesday, our office may finally give the six thousand pesos additional bonus that was earlier promised by President Arroyo. It is a good thing that we have good financial managers in the office, which enabled the generation of sufficient savings upon which the added bonus will be channeled from.

It may not be that big but six thousand pesos is still six thousand pesos. We would now be able to push through with our overly-delayed gift-buying. It is not yet too late to do this, though it is like being in the last two minutes of the game. Well, what is important is that we would be able to keep true to our social obligation and age-old tradition of gift-giving to family members, kins and god-children.

On another matter, I will be spending the holiday season in the province after all. We initially thought of having the Christmas vacation here in Metro Manila. Unfortunately, my wife just learned that she would be doing nursing duty right after December 25. So, we have to adjust our plan. Instead of her coming to Manila, I would be the one leaving for the province. This is not quite bad. A true-blooded probinsyano, I always welcome any chance of going home. My only concern though is that at this point in time, it is a bit late to obtain any advance reservation for the provincial travel. By now, I am all-too certain that all the bus companies plying the Cagayan Valley route are fully-booked. Unless you know somebody inside, which I don't, it is near to impossible to secure any available seat. But just the same, I would take my chances on Friday, and hope that a miracle would transpire that day. Perhaps, there would be a kind samaritan who would be willing to give up his seat for me.

The change in our plan is providential, in a sense. I did hear from an old batchmate that an alumni homecoming was slated in our old high school on December 30. For one reason or another, I had not been to any of our past reunions. This time, I am planning to attend for a change. I want to keep tab with my batchmates, whom I have not seen or heard from for almost fifteen years. I have lost contact with most of them since our graduation in 1991. I think it is a good time to reestablish ties with them. Who knows, there may be one or two, who have already struck it rich and are now millionaires, with philantrophic hearts. They may be moved to share their grandiose wealth to their less fortunate batchmates, like me.

THE PAINTER IN YOU

THE PAINTER IN YOU

You are my Michelangelo
Your canvas is my life
With your sweeping strokes
You paint my world alight

Where none used to be but gray
Now you brush it all away
You deftly put the colors in
Vibrant hues and shades and all

You daub a touch of fiery red
Mix it with blue and green
A speck of orange and yellow
All to spice up the scene

Such skillful blending you make
Creating a vista so picturesque
Truly, my life has really changed
In you, I feel so truly blest

HOUSING

It has always been a dream of mine to have a house I can call my own. It does not matter whether it be here in Metro Manila or in the province. What is important is that I can have a shelter for my family without having to worry about being evicted or ejected. As much as possible, I do not want to stay in a rented housing unit.

The opportunity came last May when a real estate broker staged a housing exhibit in our office. Several housing projects were being promoted. But these were beyond my limited income. Being the sole breadwinner, I could only allocate a little over two thousand pesos for monthly amortization. Above that, I could not anymore afford.

Fortunately, a housing project in Montalban, Rizal was also being marketed. The project was intended to be socialized in the sense that it targetted those belonging to the middle to low-income groups. In other words, the housing project was designed for the salaried workers in the government like me.

The relatively low cost of a housing unit did rouse my interest. I discussed the matter with my wife and we both agreed to apply for one. But not wanting to dive into the water without being certain about things, we paid a visit to the housing project. When we arrived at the place, the project was still in the early stages of construction. While there were a number of model houses to showcase the project to prospective buyers, no actual houses were erected as of yet. The construction effort was devoted to laying down the groundworks preliminary to the actual building of housing units.

Yet, despite the absence of actual housing units, we were taken up by the picturesque vista of the subdivision. It is surrounded by verdant mountains. More than that, it was the rustic or provincial atmosphere of the place that really appealed to us. While we may not agree on a lot of things, my wife and I happen to have a common inclination for the rural setting. Perhaps, this is because we both grew up in the provinces. And the subdivision project simply embodied what we desired. So, without much ado, we turned in our housing application. As of the moment, we are in the process of paying the necessary downpayment and hope to completely pay the same by January of next year.

Just recently, I made a visit to the area just to check on the progress of the project. I found much of the place to have changed. If before, what greeted us was just a barren field being leveled and bulldozed. Now, the area has undergone a tremendous facelift. Where there used to stand model units, there are now blocks upon blocks of housing units. Nevertheless, the rustic atmosphere has not diminished a bit. I pray that even after its completion, the same quotidian ambience would still pervade the subdivision project.

I was a bit disappointed though to learn that the unit we applied for is still in the drawing board. I was assured nonetheless by one of the project engineers that our housing block will be completed early next year. I am keeping my fingers crossed for the construction to proceed as scheduled so that we can transfer there soon.

WHEN WE GROW OLD

WHEN WE GROW OLD

I once heard you say, my dear
When you whispered close to my ear--
You are not so young anymore
To be what you were before.

My beloved, I shall be lying true
To deny the years are catching up on you--
The weakened limbs, the failing sight
The creased brows, the stooped back.

It may be that your joints now creak
Or, your lips quaver when you speak--
Yet, I do not believe you are worth the less
Just because your body has seen its best.

Like wine, you have aged so gracefully
Your beauty radiates so unrelentingly--
I am as enamored as when I first met you
You hold my heart forever true.

CORPORATE PLANNING

We were just through with our two-day office planning session. It has been quite an interesting experience. We evaluated our previous year's performance, identified our strengths, pinpointed our weaknesses, and mapped out our plans for next year. The activity was not that easy though. We got bogged down with some issues relating to the new performance evaluation system being adopted in the office. More particularly, much of our time went into deciphering the procedures for accomplishing the new performance evaluation system being adopted in the office. Truth be told, the process was a bit cumbersome and time-consuming compared to the old evaluation system.

Well, as the cliche goes, a new idea springs forth with tremendous birth pains. Perhaps, that is what we underwent during the corporate planning session. Nevertheless, we were hopeful still that come next year, we would be able to effectively hurdle the seeming complexities presented by the new system. It may take some getting used to but eventually it will turn out to be second nature for us all.

CHRISTMAS SHOPPING

It is mere twenty days to Christmas but we still have not done any gift-shopping. It was not like the previous years, where as early as October, we already stockpiled on gift items, purposely to avoid the Christmas rush. But this time, we will be jumping right into the fray as we try to beat the holiday deadline. Certainly, this will not be easy. Knowing the penchant and proclivity of Filipinos for late-minute shopping, we are in for a taxing, stressful, laborious and backbreaking endeavor. We will be squeezing and worming ourselves in the crowded streets of Divisoria, the mecca of budgeted and discounted buying in the Philippines.

To be candid, I am not looking forward to this unenviable experience. I have heard a lot of stories from friends and officemates vividly detailing how tough and rough it is to do shopping in Divisoria at this time of the year. The streets are brimful of people that it is rather difficult to move and maneuver. It will be like playing patintero, a childrens' game of catch-me-if-you-can.

I am thus thinking of doing our gift-buying in the mall. The problem though is always the money. Our budget may prove inadequate should we decide to purchase our gift items from the mall. The prices there are often double or triple the prices in Divisoria for the same exact items. But on the other hand, mall-shopping is far more convenient and comfortable. There is less people to contend with and the place is airconditioned, thus sparing one the sweat and the perspiration as well as the odor of a busy marketplace.

At any rate, we still have two weeks to make up our minds. But first, we shall be counting the money in our coin bank. We hope we have sufficiently saved for the Christmas gifts. Otherwise, there will be no shopping to speak of, in which case, we would have to prepare for our escape acts from our beloved inaanaks.

BRAIN AND BRAWN

I have been quite busy in the office these past few days trying to meet my quota of cases that I have not found the time to post new blog entry, much less surf the internet. You see, the mental work involved in preparing case decisions is simply draining, to say the least. It leaves one basically exhausted and stressed inside and out. It is often said that brain job is much more tiring than one involving muscle and brawn. I find this to be true for I myself can attest to how works requiring the exercise of cognitive faculty intrude even during sleeping time. In not a few instances had I dreamt or, should I say, had nightmares about paperworks assigned to me at the office. Without meaning to disparage the blue-collar people, fatigue arising from manual works is often easier to alleviate and assuage. One only needs to rest his or her wearied body on a soft comfortable bed. In no time, the muscle pain is gone and one feels refreshed and rejuvenated.

Be that as it may, I do not hate my kind of work. Even if it squeezes mental juices from my brain, I still love paper and pencil pushing. Part of the reason is due to my physical disability, which effectively prevents me from engaging in assignments of manual nature. But more than that is the enjoyment and satisfaction I derive in dealing with legal issues and concerns. Though some would dismiss it as boring and geeky, I find legal research as an interesting and stimulating activity, which is worth the while. It is like being an archaeologist digging into the ground in search of ancient relics.

SERENDIPITOUS MEETING

Right after attending mass this morning, I dropped by at the Robinsons Galleria as was my wont each time I hear mass at the Edsa Shrine. While leisurely and aimlessly strolling along the mall's food court, I noticed a quite familiar face. However, I just could not be certain whether the person was really the one I knew in college. I stared at her intently for a moment but she seemed engrossed in her conversation with her companions. Not wanting to intrude into their privacy, I decided to simply walk on by. My mind, however, was telling me to approach her, introduce myself and check whether she really was one of my closest buddies back in the college days. Instead of directly approaching them, I did the next best thing. It so happened that I had the cellphone number of the friend I had in mind courtesy of the Friendster, where I was able to re-establish contact with her most recently, at least in the virtual world. So, I texted her, inquiring whether she was the one in the food court. Lo and behold, she texted back and told me that, indeed, she was that person. She invited me to join them in the table, which I accepted. She was with her mom and her sister, a nun, who, incidentally, happened to be the religion coordinator of the school I attended during my high school. To cut the long story short, the serendipitous meeting proved interesting as we got the chance to update each other with the major developments in our lives and also with those of our mutual friends. We parted with the hope that one of these days, our college batch would have some sort of a reunion.

ADVENT

I attended a mass today and the homily of the priest was about the Advent season. And when we hear of Advent, what readily comes to our mind is Christmas. This is because according to Church doctrine, the advent season refers to the period of preparation just before the birth of our Redeemer. If I could still recall my basic catechism, the first Sunday of the month of December heralds the beginning of the Advent.

Truly, the spirit of Christmas is now all pervasive. Many radio stations play Christmas songs without let up. Television shows are filled with Christmas themes. Malls are adorned with grandiose and expensive Christmas decors. Without doubt, we see signs of the holiday season everywhere we go.

Yet, amidst the rejoicings that come with Christmas celebration, we have to pause a while and remember our brothers and sisters, whose lives have been drastically disrupted because of the onslaught of supertyphoon "Reming." Our countrymen in the Bicol region and some island provinces in the Southern Tagalog are desperately struggling to pick up the pieces. For them, Christmas will not a joyful occasion. Undoubtedly, the abundance that commonly marks the Christmas festivity will only highlight to the typhoon victims their pitiable and dire plight.

Thus, those of us who have been spared the tribulation and agony brought about by the recent calamitous event, it falls upon our shoulder the responsibility to put a smile back in the faces of our countrymen in the affected areas. In our own humble and modest ways, let us make them feel that they are not alone and abandoned in their time of greatest needs and that we are there for them. Let us share our time, effort and even a part of our resources to brighten up their bleak and gloomy days.

It is often said that at the heart of Christmas is the message of giving and sharing. What is a better time to keep true to the meaning of Christmas than now.

DISASTER AND MOTHER NATURE

The massive destruction caused by the supertyphoon "Reming" in the Bicol Region is now becoming quite evident. The news reports filtering in the television and the radio are creating a clear picture of the typhoon's aftermath in the said area. Several villages are wiped out from the face of the planet by the massive mudslides that thundered down from the slopes of Mayon Volcano. Though not exactly the same, the incident provides a stark reminder of a similar tragic occurrence that transpired several months ago in St. Bernard, Southern Leyte, where an entire village was buried into oblivion following the sudden and unexpected collapse of a mountainside.

If for anything else, these catastrophes are mere indicators of the unchanging reality that we humans are not in total control of the earth. No matter how far we go, in terms of scientific and technological advancements, we shall never completely subdue the planet. The truth is, we remain to be at the mercy of mother nature. A brief tremor, or a sudden tidal wave, or a strong typhoon would be enough to show us how weak and vulnerable we are. Indeed, natural disasters can easily alter our fortunes.

Thus, we should always extend an abiding respect to mother nature. We must never think that we can exercise dominion over her like a king ruling his fiefdom. We are born out of the womb of the earth, and we are her children and not her master.

DREAM

DREAM

When I dreamt of you last night
A dream so vivid, so real-life
A single prayer I addressed to God--
I asked Him to never awaken me
To let me sleep for all eternity

You see, my dearest, only in my dream
Am I able to bridge the deep ravine
To cross the chasm that keeps us apart--
Only in my dream do I rise a hero
A knight in shining armor to rescue you

But fleeting a moment a dream is
A burst of flame soon extinguished
Just a dying ember to mark its place--
So does a dream do not for long survive
Yet, it is only where I can cling on to your love

BLESSINGS AND TRAGEDY

The fearful forecast about the supertyphoon slamming right into the heart of the metropolis did not materialize. At the last minute, typhoon "Reming" (international codename: "Durian") veered away from its projected path and instead moved towards the Mindoro island as it made its way towards the direction of the South China Sea. For a moment yesterday, the whole Metro Manila was in a state of jittered and anxious anticipation. At its strongest, the typhoon was estimated to carry a maximum sustained wind of 180 to 220 kilometers per hour. Such strong wind could easily rip away the roof of houses, uproot trees and could even twist and topple some metal structures like the bill boards found along EDSA. And without any effective mountain barrier to slow down its movement, it was certain to hit Metro Manila with full force and intensity.

Fortunately, the dreaded scenario did not transpire. "Reming" shifted gear and spared Metro Manila of devastation. Save for the cloudy skies, some winds and isolated rainshowers, the city generally had a calm weather. It did not experience any of the much-dreaded effects of the typhoon.

The elation of being spared the brunt of the typhoon could not, however, equal the shock and grief I felt upon seeing on television the havoc and destruction wrought by "Reming" in the Bicol region. It was reported that around three barangays in Daraga lying at the foot of the Mayon Volcano were hit with mudslide triggered by the heavy rainfall. Many houses were buried, killing their occupants. The latest count has put the number of casualties to around 130 people.

Aside from the dead, the typhoon has also left in its wake ruined agricultural fields. Without a doubt, this shall economically dislocate for many months to come most of the families in the affected areas, who are primarily dependent on agriculture for their source of livelihood.

To those of us in Metro Manila, who have experienced a tremendous miracle, we should not forget to share our blessing to our less fortunate brothers and sisters in the Bicol Region. Let us come to their aid as they seek to rise and begin to rebuild their lives. Let us coordinate and get in touch with bona fide organizations where we could channel our modest donations either in money or in kind. This is the time to stand up and be counted!

LOSING

To lose somebody special is one of the most harrowing experiences that one can possibly go through life. That someone special may be a kin, a friend, a lover or a pet animal. But whoever or whatever is involved, and whatever the reasons may be, the feeling is generally the same. The loss invariably creates a deep void within that makes one feel so incomplete and inadequate. There is also the attendant pain and misery that seem to last forever. For somebody who has gone or is going through the experience, the minutes and the hours appear to pass by so torturously slow. The time utterly loses its significance that it no longer matters whether it is day or night. Each day that arrives is just another moment to wallow in the company of grief and despair. Really, to lose somebody is to lose oneself!

ANDRES BONIFACIO DAY

I received a text message from a friend yesterday. He said that I should be in a festive or celebratory mood. I asked why. He retorted that it is because it is Andres Bonifacio day. I did not get the meaning at first. I was quite puzzled. Why should I be celebrating on the occasion of Bonifacio's birth? True, he is one of our country's greatest (not merely great) heroes. Just like Jose Rizal, what he did to the country was monumental, to say the least. He helped in the molding and formation of our nation.

But, this should not be the real reason for my friend's rather cryptic and enigmatic comment. I felt that there was more to it than meets the eye. So, I looked intently at the text message for the longest time. And, in a flash of miracle, the revelation came to me. I could not help but chide myself for my stupidity. Yes, I discerned what my friend really wanted to convey.

Well, pare, I did celebrate yesterday. It was Andres' day, as you said. And, without doubt, I am proud to be one. For, that is a mark of being a true hero-- to be a martyr for a cause and conviction. At least, even on that score, I can feel a connection with the revered Andres Bonifacio, who suffered martyrdom for his own deep-seated conviction and principles.