MY PRECIOUS

It is well-nigh impossible my dearest true
To let go of someone special like you
You are my lonely heart’s delight
You fill the yearning deep inside

Months and years shall surely pass
The distance may grow between us
And never may another chance arise
For us to gaze into each other’s eyes

Even then, this I solemnly pledge, my love
You are forever enshrined in my heart
Hard and arduous may be the way
From you, I shall never for a moment go astray

Loving you is all that matters to me now
Though gloomy may our fate appears somehow
By no means shall I cease to think of you
Every second of the day till my life is through

Do not forget me, I beseech so humbly
Banish me not from your memory
Even when our ties have all been severed
Do think of me no matter how brief

Always hopeful shall I be, my sweetest
Praying our fortunes shall change for the best
That even someday, when we are past our prime
We shall be brought again to share some time

I have been trying to write a poem for you. But I just cannot think of the words to exactly convey my deepest feelings. Perhaps, at a later time, my pen would once more be able to weave its magic. So, for now, I have written you this simple note for the Christmas.

Christmas is not just a celebration about something. It is more than buying the finest trimmings and the most brilliant and dazzling lights to adorn our houses. It is more than the fine dining that we have with our close kins and friends.

For me, Christmas means taking a pause from everything and digging deep into one’s heart. It means listening to the beatings of our soul that have been drowned out by the din of our everyday living. It means getting back to our real selves and appreciating who we really are.

And appreciating my one true self means being honest to my feelings for you. Despite the months of silence, the insurmountable obstacle that separates us, I should be a hypocrite to say that you are lost in me and that I have moved on. On the contrary, you are still here, imbedded and rooted. Indeed, the wound has not healed, even under the nurturing of Father Time. I am resigned that for this lifetime, you are an integral part of me—never to be weaned away.

I do accept the fact that we may never be physically together. Yet, what should prevent us from communing in our minds and hears through the shared memories that we built in our brief and fleeting moment of togetherness? Even if by chance you have already buried me in the deepest recesses of your sub-consciousness, I, for myself, have not forgotten about you. In fact, I have been thinking so much about you these days, rest assured of that.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

A week after reviving my blog, which has lain dormant for two years, I am back once more, speaking my mind on things that capture my interest or fancy for the moment. Last Sunday, we had a small breather from the gargantuan problems confronting us courtesy of the Pacquiao-De La Hoya fight. Billed by the media as the boxing fight of the decade, it ended with our compatriot beating his opponent black and blue, and forcing the latter to retire before the start of the ninth round. I will not provide a blow-by-blow account of what transpired in the slugfest, knowing that all of us were unerringly hooked in the television and radio during that moment in time. I will not also endeavor to make an analysis of the lopsided bout. I leave that to the experts and so-called boxing aficionados. They are in a better position to venture scholarly analyses.

What I simply want to say is that Pacquiao did one big favor for the country last Sunday. Police claim that crimes were basically inexistent during the boxing bout. Our law enforcers say that they their police blotters were empty that day. This may be a bit of an exaggeration but I am sure, there was a palpable or noticeable dip in the crime rate. This is not the first time that this phenomenon has occured. In fact, the same happenstance was observed in the previous fights of Pacquiao. If for anything else, this only goes to show that criminal elements do take a time out from their crime spree to savor an interesting boxing fight.

With this development, I am tempted to suggest that to resolve our high incidence of crimes, we might as well ask Manny to fight on a daily basis. On second thought, this may be good in the short term, but would prove disastrous in the long run. For one, and obviously, this would be humanly impossible. Our body is simply not made to bear daily beatings. We can only take so much until our body would give up, no matter how well-conditioned we are. For another, a daily boxing bout featuring Pacquiao would destroy its novelty, charm and attraction to the public. The public would simply get fed up with him. They might even pay him more than his guaranteed prize of 11 million dollars just to hang up his gloves.

Well, asking Manny to fight everyday is really and absurd and ridiculous idea. But if this furnishes some answer to the menace of criminality, why not give it a try? hehehe.

Until then...

TWO YEARS OF DORMANCY

I started out this blog almost two years ago. I was full of fire and enthusiasm when I went about doing this undertaking. I even made a promise to myself that I would post a blog daily. I knew how difficult that would be, but I resolved to do it. And for several weeks after opening this blog, I really kept true to my personal commitment. I did not waver in writing in my blog anything that interested me. However, the flame soon slowly ebbed. Perhaps, it was a case of burnt out or of starting out frenetically only to lose steam in the end. So, it happened that from daily blogging, it became more sporadic and intermittent. Then, finally, in December 2006, after more than two months, I totally ceased this activity. There was no formal curtain call. I just stopped. Aside from occasional visit to my blog site, I never again ventured into blogging.

Up until now, that is. A week shy of December 2008, I rediscovered a part of the interest that motivated me to engage in blogging in the first place. Thus, I have once more found myself tapping on the computer keyboard to fill the blog page with my rather senseless thoughts that you are now perusing. It is so fortunate that even if unused for the past two years, www.blogspot.com has kept my site alive. It is not like an email account in www.yahoo.com which expires if not accessed in two months.

What has happened in the past two years that I have been away from this site?

Not much, I think. I still ride public utility vehicles in going to and fro my place of work. Despite previous plans of buying a car, the same has remained elusive. Not enough cash to make the downpayment, and the monthly amortization, just to be candid about it.

I still live in the same nook in Pasig City-- a small condominium unit with the barest of furnishings.

I still am employed in the same office, which I have been wanting to leave for several years now but simply can't (albeit I nearly did it last year except that fate intervened against me).

But one significant milestone that has happened to me is the birth of my first baby, a daughter named samantha adrienne. Yes, notwithstanding the relative lack of dynamics in my life, I can very well say that my daughter has brought in a whole new episode in my worldly existence-- fatherhood.

I guess that is just about for now, folks. I will update you about my baby the next time I blog. Keep tuned...

DON'T WORRY

DON'T WORRY

Don't worry, I can read the sign
I know what is in your mind
You need not even say a word or two
Your silence speaks so pure and true

I need not be a sage or a wizard
To feel the beatings of your heart
Hard though you try to conceal it
The change within you just can't shield

I should have seen it coming
The fire in you is slowly ebbing
No longer does love resound
No longer does passion in you abound

What am I to do now, my dear?
I've lived my life with no other
How can I face tomorrow
Without you to help me through

SHOPPING AND REUNION

The lazy-bug has bitten me these past few days. Thus, I have not bothered to update my blog. You may notice that this is my first blog entry after three or four days. It was not like during my initial attempts at blogging that I posted an entry everyday. Now, my blogging has been quite irregular. For this, I beg for your kindest indulgence. I will not make any excuses except to say that given the holiday atmosphere, I guess my bodily system is also going into vacation mode.

About a week or two ago, I lamented about the fact that we still had to do our Christmas shopping. Sadly, only a week to go before December 25, we have yet to draw up our Christmas shopping list. The culprit: albeit it is quite embarrassing to admit, it is the lack of sufficient funds. We are still waiting for additional bonus from the office from where we would source the budget for our Christmas shopping. Well, the good news is that anytime tomorrow and until Wednesday, our office may finally give the six thousand pesos additional bonus that was earlier promised by President Arroyo. It is a good thing that we have good financial managers in the office, which enabled the generation of sufficient savings upon which the added bonus will be channeled from.

It may not be that big but six thousand pesos is still six thousand pesos. We would now be able to push through with our overly-delayed gift-buying. It is not yet too late to do this, though it is like being in the last two minutes of the game. Well, what is important is that we would be able to keep true to our social obligation and age-old tradition of gift-giving to family members, kins and god-children.

On another matter, I will be spending the holiday season in the province after all. We initially thought of having the Christmas vacation here in Metro Manila. Unfortunately, my wife just learned that she would be doing nursing duty right after December 25. So, we have to adjust our plan. Instead of her coming to Manila, I would be the one leaving for the province. This is not quite bad. A true-blooded probinsyano, I always welcome any chance of going home. My only concern though is that at this point in time, it is a bit late to obtain any advance reservation for the provincial travel. By now, I am all-too certain that all the bus companies plying the Cagayan Valley route are fully-booked. Unless you know somebody inside, which I don't, it is near to impossible to secure any available seat. But just the same, I would take my chances on Friday, and hope that a miracle would transpire that day. Perhaps, there would be a kind samaritan who would be willing to give up his seat for me.

The change in our plan is providential, in a sense. I did hear from an old batchmate that an alumni homecoming was slated in our old high school on December 30. For one reason or another, I had not been to any of our past reunions. This time, I am planning to attend for a change. I want to keep tab with my batchmates, whom I have not seen or heard from for almost fifteen years. I have lost contact with most of them since our graduation in 1991. I think it is a good time to reestablish ties with them. Who knows, there may be one or two, who have already struck it rich and are now millionaires, with philantrophic hearts. They may be moved to share their grandiose wealth to their less fortunate batchmates, like me.

THE PAINTER IN YOU

THE PAINTER IN YOU

You are my Michelangelo
Your canvas is my life
With your sweeping strokes
You paint my world alight

Where none used to be but gray
Now you brush it all away
You deftly put the colors in
Vibrant hues and shades and all

You daub a touch of fiery red
Mix it with blue and green
A speck of orange and yellow
All to spice up the scene

Such skillful blending you make
Creating a vista so picturesque
Truly, my life has really changed
In you, I feel so truly blest

HOUSING

It has always been a dream of mine to have a house I can call my own. It does not matter whether it be here in Metro Manila or in the province. What is important is that I can have a shelter for my family without having to worry about being evicted or ejected. As much as possible, I do not want to stay in a rented housing unit.

The opportunity came last May when a real estate broker staged a housing exhibit in our office. Several housing projects were being promoted. But these were beyond my limited income. Being the sole breadwinner, I could only allocate a little over two thousand pesos for monthly amortization. Above that, I could not anymore afford.

Fortunately, a housing project in Montalban, Rizal was also being marketed. The project was intended to be socialized in the sense that it targetted those belonging to the middle to low-income groups. In other words, the housing project was designed for the salaried workers in the government like me.

The relatively low cost of a housing unit did rouse my interest. I discussed the matter with my wife and we both agreed to apply for one. But not wanting to dive into the water without being certain about things, we paid a visit to the housing project. When we arrived at the place, the project was still in the early stages of construction. While there were a number of model houses to showcase the project to prospective buyers, no actual houses were erected as of yet. The construction effort was devoted to laying down the groundworks preliminary to the actual building of housing units.

Yet, despite the absence of actual housing units, we were taken up by the picturesque vista of the subdivision. It is surrounded by verdant mountains. More than that, it was the rustic or provincial atmosphere of the place that really appealed to us. While we may not agree on a lot of things, my wife and I happen to have a common inclination for the rural setting. Perhaps, this is because we both grew up in the provinces. And the subdivision project simply embodied what we desired. So, without much ado, we turned in our housing application. As of the moment, we are in the process of paying the necessary downpayment and hope to completely pay the same by January of next year.

Just recently, I made a visit to the area just to check on the progress of the project. I found much of the place to have changed. If before, what greeted us was just a barren field being leveled and bulldozed. Now, the area has undergone a tremendous facelift. Where there used to stand model units, there are now blocks upon blocks of housing units. Nevertheless, the rustic atmosphere has not diminished a bit. I pray that even after its completion, the same quotidian ambience would still pervade the subdivision project.

I was a bit disappointed though to learn that the unit we applied for is still in the drawing board. I was assured nonetheless by one of the project engineers that our housing block will be completed early next year. I am keeping my fingers crossed for the construction to proceed as scheduled so that we can transfer there soon.

WHEN WE GROW OLD

WHEN WE GROW OLD

I once heard you say, my dear
When you whispered close to my ear--
You are not so young anymore
To be what you were before.

My beloved, I shall be lying true
To deny the years are catching up on you--
The weakened limbs, the failing sight
The creased brows, the stooped back.

It may be that your joints now creak
Or, your lips quaver when you speak--
Yet, I do not believe you are worth the less
Just because your body has seen its best.

Like wine, you have aged so gracefully
Your beauty radiates so unrelentingly--
I am as enamored as when I first met you
You hold my heart forever true.